i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
