I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
