winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
