Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
