he wants to bone in the snuggie
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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