At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
