I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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