Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
