somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
