He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
