i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize
