So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
