I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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