I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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