Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I believe in your delicious
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
