This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
