I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize