The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize