every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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