I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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