Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've blown a few things in my day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
