if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
