Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
