Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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