i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
