The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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