I must be too annoying 4 u.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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