I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize