I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
