i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
