did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
