I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
