I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
