and she was petting her beer can
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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