Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
