I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
