Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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