I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
