I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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