i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In other news, I just burned my penis
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
