Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
