tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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