All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
