there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
