nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
