He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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