i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
