so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
