That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
