I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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