Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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