Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
