In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
