i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
