Are we in a gay sports bar?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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