help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it glows. i had to have it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
