I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
