Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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